UPO!

We had a UPO experience this evening.

DH let our basset hound in and put her in her crate to allow her muddy feet to dry. No sooner did he close the crate door than he began searching for a mournful mewing sound that seemed to come from somewhere in that corner of the kitchen. Hannah sat facing the crate door observing us with baleful eyes--her usual posture. DH enlisted my help at that point. I bent down and looked into the darkest corner of the crate, behind Hannah's whipping tail, and saw two green glaring eyes staring back at me.

"Ebony is in her crate."

Strangely, at that very moment it seemed that Hannah discovered Ebony and managed to rotate her head to her tail position. That was stupid. A spat, a claw and Hannah nearly hit the top of the crate. DH opened the door and rescued her then had to crawl in on his belly to rescue the black cat from the black corner.

That wasn't the end of the mystery.

We put the dog back into her crate. A few minutes later she began scuffling around, searching excitedly for something that we couldn't see, but seemed to jump from one side of the crate to the other. Hannah was loving the hunt until the UPO (Unidentified Pesky Object) appeared to have managed to escape through the wire. We let Hannah out. Her excitement continued for a few minutes and then died off as though the UPO turned out to be a dustbunny hiding in a corner.

Shortly after dinner while watching TV, my own composure was rattled when Squeaky clawed her way up the back of the couch and caught my head. I lept up and peaked over the couch to see what the commotion was all about. Squeaky was pacing and sniffing, looking all around the back of the couch as though she'd caught sight of a UPO and then lost it. DH and I looked at each other and shrugged. We hadn't seen anything!

Squeaky's search continued, so we flipped the couch over. Nothing. She explored the entire couch and then drifted off to the corner of the dining room to explore under the buffet. We flipped the couch back and I sat down. No sooner had I managed to relax, than Ms Squeaky was clawing at the couch behind my back.

"Oh, for crying out loud! What IS it?" I said, jumping up and stepping away from the couch. Squeaky circled the couch at light speed in such a convincing way that I really did believe that there must be a UPO. She vanished behind the couch again. Just as I gingerly approached the couch to peak over the back again, my eye finally caught sight of the UPO. A fist sized fat object glided past my feet and seemed to vanish in the folds of my throw that had partially fallen to the floor. I squealled and jumped back, staring at the fringed edge of the throw.

"There," I pointed toward the throw and glared at DH who was still sitting calmly in his chair as though nothing whatsoever had happened. "It's there!"

"What is it?"

I made note of the fact that he was still sitting in his chair. "There really is a varmint! And it ran up under there."

He leaned forward slightly and looked in the general direction in which I was pointing. I gave up hope and began to examine the edge of the throw for the best possible hand hold so I could pick it up without coming close to the hiding varmint. Squeaky was still on the wrong side of the couch. I picked it up and--nothing.

A moment later and Squeaky came careening around the corner of the couch again, this time she was actually chasing a gray ball aimed directly at my feet. I lept back, squeeling. I'm so embarrassed! The leap changed the varmint's direction and he seemed to roll under the couch and vanish. In the meantime, I had gained the doorway.

DH remained seated as though he was merely a spectator at a sporting event. This time I pointed in his direction, "Get up and guard that side of the living room--don't let that thing get out!" I shrieked. I do not take UPOs lightly! I nearly had a panick attack when I thought of that varmint getting down the hall and into Ike's messy bedroom.

Two times Squeaky could have had him cornered and she let him escape. I was beside myself. That was when I bellowed my third command, "Get Hannah!"

DH dutifully released Hannah who went after the UPO with a vengence. She circled the couch several times, snuffling dust bunnies, and then followed the trail back to the buffet where Squeaky was in stalking position. Just as I thought all was lost, Hannah, hot on the trail of the now invisible UPO chased it right back to the place where it all began--her crate. DH strolled over to observe the commotion more closely, pulled the crate from the wall and watched Hannah dive behind it. She came back up with something hanging from her mouth. DH stood there in spectator mode until I bellowed one more time, "She's got it! Let her out!"

DH opened the door and out went Hannah. He closed the door and stood and watched her through the window, reporting on the sporting event that continued--thankfully--out of doors.

As he sauntered back to his chair, he muttered, "Ebony brought it in."