Am I?

Am I going to do the NaNoWriMo?

I have an idea, but inspiration always comes in waves and it is too rudimentary and also too important to commit to forced writing. The wave comes and the current lifts me off the bottom and I feel myself floating, it covers me, my head feels the current, my hair flows with the water as it passes by. I can feel it in the very roots. I have no idea how far the wave carries me before it gently sets me back down and I feel my weight settle back into the heavy gravity of the world. As the wave passes and I have regained my footing, I look at it as it recedes, looking more like a mere gentle rise with no foam or form. I turn and look for the next wave. I see it in the distance, the curling form of the top of the wave making a steady foam that it pushes before it, but it looks to be a long way off yet.

In short, I know what I want to write about, but my approach has not yet been decided. It is the creation of the body that it lacks. It is ephemeral and illusive. As long as there is no imagined container for it, it can't be poured into anything. It is just the raw idea. My working title is Metamorphosis, so surely you can imagine!

Of course, something could happen in the next twenty-four hours. I might grasp some thread and I have thought of signing up for the NaNo anyway. It is okay to let the goal slip by and especially in a month when there is a wedding at the very most productive time of the month. I have so often wondered why they chose November! It seems to be one of the worst possible months of the year. But just add a wedding to that--a total distraction and days away from home. I'll lose a full week! From the day I leave to the late night that we endure to arrive back home to get Ike back to school on time.

But phooey! I would like to do the NaNo!